A reader who is a recovered alcoholic wrote me this:
"Last night I saw the guy at work who bullied me. I was real civil to him. It takes every bit of peace I have not to let him know that I know what he did to me. I thought I could handle it. When I got home i was so worked up I tore through ice-cream. I don't eat the shit at night. I am bummed that I let that little troll take my energy.
Oh well start over today!
Thanks for all you do."
Here's my response:
"You didn't let him take your energy. You just felt all that energy swirling around and you channeled it into eating ice cream, which is okay. You didn't drink! You didn't shoot up heroin! You didn't yell at your child. Put it in perspective.
And then laugh at it and lighten up about it and say, "Hey Ben & Jerry's is a lot better than those other things and at least I am aware. It's not what I do every little moment it's what I do most of the time.
And most of the time you don't eat Ben & Jerry's at night.
Also look at the fact that you did not lash out at him.
Soon you will be able to take that energy and channel it into something positive. That is true mastery. This is your Jedi training."