Monday November 23, 2020: Mindful Monday and the Fine Art of Projection ✨🌟💫💛
The first day of orientation week at Brown University I met my first husband. It was love at first sight and I declared to my whole freshman hall (I’ve always been bold), "This, THIS is the man I’m going to marry."
And I did. Seven years later.
After we had been together for over six years, we introduced one of my best friends to one of his best friends. A few months later, they were engaged.
Now let me remind you . . . I was 24 years old, “young and dumb,” as my friend Jenny Z likes to say. That said, let me tell you . . . my reaction (reaction, not response, this was pre-– yoga) was not admirable. I was pissed! I was like, "How is that fair? Why are they engaged after two months and my boyfriend of 6 years is still dragging his feet?"
Sidenote: One could argue that he was "dragging his feet" because he knew better intuitively… that we were a bad match -- and split up 11 years later, after 18 years together.
But back to age 24. Despite my embarrassing reaction, I was honestly happy for my friend, even though I knew it was not right for them to be together. How did I know? Her response to my congratulations was, "Well ... the ring is so pretty, I just couldn't say no."
She broke it off three weeks before the wedding.
What was upsetting me was that I had been waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting to get engaged. And of course married. I just wanted to be together. I didn't give a rip about money or being "established" before we did so. My boyfriend/ex husband did.
I’m so happy that we DID get married and have a beautiful child together. She’s in the photo above (the one with a slight resemblance to me😉 ) and she’s just about the age I was when all of this was unfolding.
Recently, a good friend got engaged. I was so happy for her and her fiancé. A little while after their engagement, I called another good friend and asked if she was OK, saying that I understood that it was hard to hear about an engagement – a quick engagement at that – when you had been dating your boyfriend for many years.
She laughed and said she was totally fine. And she meant it. She explained that they’re in a great place in their relationship and there have been countless friends who have gotten engaged and while at times it was difficult, this was not.
I laughed as I heard this and realized that the big P was at play…Projection.
As we embark on Thanksgiving week and you are connecting with family and/or old friends, notice how often you project your own feelings and experiences onto others. With this awareness, you can walk through the world as an even better friend, partner, spouse, parent, sister. . . an even better version of your authentic self.
So as you walk through the world, in both your personal and business life, be mindful (it’s Mindful Monday) of what you are projecting onto others, and what is actually real. There are many realities, as many as there are people on this planet. All we can do is do our best to stay in alignment, and then operate from there, with an open heart. Then and only then will things unfold as they are meant to, as they should, and magically as you have dreamed of.
Be the Inspiration.
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