From a Reader:
"I absolutely love your "definition of being a super-mom" on your blog. It's so so awesome, and it's going on my fridge. I yelled at my toddler last week, and almost immediately started to cry because it felt so wrong and was so unlike me. I had remembered a blog you wrote awhile ago about saying to your kids "let's begin again." I took a deep breath, said that to her, gave her a big kiss and we began again. As always, thanks for your insight. Love love love it! "
My response:
"I was just telling my ex-husband that I can always tell when a child has had a 'lazy parent.'
I call 'lazy parenting' when you don't take the time and energy to set clear and consistent boundaries with your kids because it's exhausting -- and no fun.
I choose to make clear, consistent boundaries with my children as a gift to them and those in their later life. Those who don't have clear boundaries as children have a rough ride later. Believe me I see it because I have a 18-year-old and it ain't pretty – a few of her friends can't put a dish in the dishwasher and are super entitled and have wicked attitude.
Yeah it can be annoying to set clear consistent boundaries in the short-term, but long-term, what has that taught your kiddos? It's going to be a rough ride for them, poor loves. And mostly because of lazy parenting.
But hey, I get it. Sometimes I just want to say yes to my 18-year-old. Sometimes it's exhausting to be 'mean mommy' and keep the rules clear and consistent, but I (mostly) always do. And the proof's in the pudding. People constantly comment on my children and how happy and grounded and kind they are.
So no one feels good when they yell, but we're human and it happens. Your toddler yells too! You don't get mad at her when she does, or if you do, you forgive her and move on and begin again.
So be gentle with yourself. It's real and it's human. Just begin again. Teach her it's okay to have emotions and then say you're sorry. It's all good! And I'm rootin for ya."